“Life gets mighty precious when there’s less of it to waste.”
– Bonnie Raitt
There was a time in my life I thought I’d never be happy again. But I’ve learned to look at seasons of life, not just days or years. Lately, I’ve been very happy. Not euphoric, mind you, but steadily, reliably content and upbeat, even joyful.
Why—at age 65—am I so happy?
A recent New York Times article headlined “Happiness May Come With Age, Study Says” details a Gallop study that shows that people get happier as they get older. Researchers aren’t sure why.
Although I wasn’t among the 340,000 adults between the ages of 18 to 85 included in the study, I have my own theories on this topic.
The older I get, the more I appreciate each tree, each bite of food, each sensation of my foot hitting the pavement. It’s the ordinary things that make my life happy—and I see them very differently than I did 20 or 30 years ago. Rather than being humdrum or routine, each moment seems to sparkle. Life feels full and rich.
I am freer now than I have been at any time in my life—most of the responsibilities I have are self-chosen, not imposed by the outside world. I am healthy and I work hard to keep it that way—daily yoga and hour-long walks, weekly weight training sessions, healthy food, moderation in my two chief vices (green tea and dark chocolate), and a warm and loving network of family and friends.
Some authors argue that life circumstances actually have little to do with happiness. Rather, we decide to be happy. And we can train ourselves to be happier. In their book, How we Choose to be Happy, authors Rick Foster and Greg Hicks say that extremely happy people make nine fundamental choices about how they conduct their lives. These choices generate and increase happiness.
Happiness is not feeling bubbly and perky every moment, according to Foster and Hicks. Instead it is composed of an enduring and profound feeling of contentment, capability, and centeredness. People who engage with life and live in the moment, “enjoying life’s bounty and abundance,” are happier than those who get caught up with overwork and worry and let life’s ordinary moments pass them by.
I won’t reveal all nine of the choices—you can read the book—but the foundational choice is intention. We have to intend to be happy and consciously choose the attitudes and behaviors that lead to happiness. For anyone who has suffered a major life trauma like the death of a child, it takes time to reaffirm the intention to be happy.
I believe that if we stay awake, open, and attentive to our needs, life will teach us how to choose happiness. That’s why older people are happier. We’ve learned not to sweat the small stuff. We’re grateful for each moment. Or as George Burns famously said, “It’s good to be here. At 98, it’s good to be anywhere.”
The study I mentioned shows that people become increasingly unhappy from age 18 to 50, and then suddenly their happiness increases, often dramatically. Look on the bright side—you are getting older. One day you may be positively ecstatic.
Related articles
Eleanor, I enjoyed reading this post because I find in it truth that aging isn’t such a bad thing after all. How do I know this? At 67, I find myself more content and yes, happier than ever before in my life. Granted some of the bumps and turns in the road have been difficult and painful, but by and large the traumas I’ve faced pale in comparison to those others may have faced. Yet, there was a time I felt extremely unhappy. Why I can’t tell you, but around midlife that unhappiness began to shift so that today I find myself almost ecstatic!
That is wonderful, Sherrey. So much of life is mysterious. This particular mystery is one I love. Be happy!