When I look back on my 25 years of single parenthood, I shake my head in wonder. I pulled on my pantyhose every day (this was in the 1980s and 90s) and went to a corporate job. I made breakfasts and lunches, drove kids to school, helped with homework, scheduled and went to doctor and dentist’s appointments, wiped away tears, broke up fights, shopped for groceries and shoes, and otherwise raised my kids. And that’s not even the hard stuff.
The hard stuff was navigating the challenges of a blended family, two divorces, sibling rivalry, one absent father, one involved stepfather and biological dad, a gifted and mercurial older daughter, and a quiet, sensitive younger child who, at the age of 11, lost her half sister in a freak accident.
I was so blessed! I had two, bright healthy daughters, who were (and are) the loves of my life. Now that I’ve been an empty nester for almost 15 years, and a grandmother for three, I can look back at all of it and be grateful. And even laugh about much of it.
At the time, though, it was no laughing matter. I lurched from crisis to crisis, punctuated by small, joyful moments. My girls laughing together over a joke one of them made up. Tucking them into bed at night, their hair tousled, their bedroom littered with clothes and toys. Watching their eyes light up when they opened Christmas or birthday gifts. How much they loved my Saturday morning French toast with vanilla, cinnamon, and sliced strawberries drenched in real maple syrup.
Those are the moments that shine like crystals in my memory. The nonexistent child support checks, the surly boss who yelled at me for arriving late and leaving early, the credit card bills I could never pay off, the car repairs I had to postpone, even the girls’ illnesses and accidents – all the things that loomed so large at the time, are a dim, foggy recollection.
In Swimming with Maya I delve deeply into what it was like to raise Maya and Meghan, and to grieve for Maya after she died as a result of being thrown from a horse.
My next stop on the WOW! Women on Writing blog tour will be at Jerri Ann Reason’s fine blog Mom-E-Centric, where you can find my full blog post on single parenting and also enter to win a free copy of my book.
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