“What are those cracks by your eyes, Mimi?” My four-year-old granddaughter was staring intently at my face. It took me a minute to compute. “Wrinkles,” I said. “Do I have wrinkles?” Lucia touched her own cheeks. “No honey, you’re too young for wrinkles,” I...
Grief Loss and Bereavement
Grief and the Holidays
"As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love. Don’t let anyone take your grief away. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving,...
The Unthinkable Loss
“There's no tragedy in life like the death of a child. Things never get back to the way they were.” -- Dwight D. Eisenhower, American president Let’s begin with the sobering statistics: 21,000 children die every day around the world. That translates to a child dying...
Moving Forward After Loss
For today's stop on the WOW! Women on Writing blog tour, I'm visiting Mom Loves 2 Read, to talk about grief recovery - an important skill for mortals. Sooner or later we all lose someone we love. How do we move forward after loss? It’s been 21 years since my...
The God Question
Terrible tragedy inevitably raises the question: How could a just God allow bad things to happen to good people? Whether you grew up believing in God, or later opened to the possibility of a higher power, when confronted by loss you are likely to question your faith....
Meeting the man with Maya’s heart
Two years after my 19-year-old daughter Maya was killed in a freak accident, I met the recipient of her donated heart: a middle-aged Chilean businessman, his wife, and their two children. My book Swimming with Maya describes that initial meeting and the friendship...
Learning to Laugh Again
In my personal pantheon of spiritual masters, I fondly include a Unity minister from Alabama. I heard Rev. Edwene Gaines speak at a Unity center near my home four years after Maya died. I now see that 45-minute talk as a turning point in my grief. That was the day I...
A Child’s Wisdom
Here's the story of why I named this blog "That's the Way Life Lives." When Maya was five years old we moved to California. In Swimming with Maya, I recount the joys and difficulties of adjusting to life in the Sierra foothills outside of Nevada City. Just six weeks...