Life after neurodiverse love is like being in the eye of the hurricane. My life is whirling at warp speed but I’m standing at the still center. If you know the feeling, then you’ll recognize the moment where I find myself now. I’m on the threshold of a new life after the painful breakdown of my late-in-life marriage.

My divorce is about to be final after a long hard slog. I bargained away a fair share of the proceeds from the sale of our house in exchange for full ownership of my intellectual property. My new book Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage, forthcoming from Vine Leaves Press, now belongs 100 percent to me, and my estranged husband can’t take 50 percent of the royalties as he demanded.

Claiming my future

As one friend puts it, I chose to secure my future and let go of my past. My beautiful home is gone, my marriage wrecked on the shoals of opposite neurotypes. But my writing life is barreling ahead. Preorders for my new book Disconnected: Portrait of a Neurodiverse Marriage are available now. You can reserve a copy (or several) at the Vine Leaves Press store.

The end of my marriage broke my heart, but it also liberated me to be fully myself and live a life that makes sense to me, my life as a writer.

I wrote this in my blog last October: “Divorce is challenging at any age but going through it in your 70s merits a special badge for courage. This was a difficult decision, one I hoped I’d never have to make, and one I pondered for a long time. One that will require time to process, grieve, and integrate.”

I’m in the integration phase now, still mourning the loss, but also celebrating my newfound clarity and freedom. I made a colossal misjudgment when I married a man with an autistic profile, a difference of brain and emotional wiring I did not adequately understand.

Neurodivergence 101

On the positive side, I’ve taken a crash course in neurodivergence. What I share in Disconnected will benefit many. It took me several years to figure out what caused the high conflict in our marriage and to find the resources to help us attempt to heal. In the end, my ex refused to work with a coach who was expert in helping mixed neurotypical and neurodiverse couples. Traditional marital therapy, which we attempted three times, made our relationship worse.

I’ll provide a list of resources for neurodiverse couples on my website so that others don’t have to do as much research or go through as much trial and error as I did.

Fresh insights

My Vine Leaves editor Melanie Faith had this to say about Disconnected: “The fresh insights in this book will educate those who’ve not experienced a neurodiverse relationship in real life and will support and give aha or I’ve-felt-that moments to many readers who have.  A win, either way.”

I couldn’t agree more. If you’ve had a close relationship with someone who has an autism spectrum disorder (ASD), you will recognize your struggles in my book. If you haven’t, it will be eye opening. There are countless undiagnosed adults with ASD, and an equal number of confused partners who may not realize that neurodivergence is the cause of the problems in their relationship.

Because my estranged husband was high masking, adept at copying neurotypical behavior, it was only after we married that the full extent of our differences surfaced. I know there are many other baffled spouses and partners who are suffering. My goal is to reach as many as I can.

How to reserve your copy

When you preorder Disconnected, you will pay in euros. Vine Leaves Press is based in Athens Greece, and regulations decree that euros are the accepted currency. However, your books will be printed and shipped from the United States. The book will also appear on Amazon and other online platforms later this month. I plan to create an audio book, too.

If you subscribe to my newsletter, I’ll let you know when the e-book link goes live. Please share this news widely and let your friends know that the book is available for preorders.

From the still eye of the storm, please accept my gratitude for your support. I treasure my readers, old and new, and can’t wait to share this new book with you.