On April 1, my daughter Maya went skiing in the Sierra Nevada mountains. She was 19, home on spring break from community college. She went to a resort outside of Truckee with her friends for a day of fun. It was 1992. When she arrived home early that evening, I had...
organ donation
Love Overcomes Grief
What I know is that love overcomes grief. It will be 30 years since my daughter Maya was declared brain dead on April 6, 1992. She was only 19 then. This is the year she would have turned 50. How mind blowing is that? What keeps me going is âlove in the trenches,â the...
Grateful for Gratitude
âWhen we focus on our gratitude, the tide of disappointment goes out and the tide of love rushes in.â Coined by Kristin Armstrong of the Happiness Project at UC Berkeley, this aphorism captures the power of appreciation. If youâve ever kept a gratitude journal or...
Grief and Gratitude in a Pandemic Year
Itâs April 6 again, a day to celebrate and to mourn. My oldest daughter Maya died on this day twenty-eight years ago. As the Covid-19 pandemic rages around the globe, millions of us find our lives radically upended; weâre scared, and weâre grieving. For those of us...
Celebrating Maya
Itâs a day to celebrate, and to mourn. Maya died on April 6, 1992, twenty-six years ago. And on this day, my dear friend Patti Frame received my daughterâs liver, and her life began again. Others received the gift of sight, or a new heart, or a new kidney. And many...
An Unexpected Gift
by September Vaudrey My guest on "That's the Way Life Lives," September Vaudrey, is a warm, engaging writer. We first met through social media and this blog. After several years of "virtual friendship," I met September last May while doing a reading in Chicago. Our...
An Upward Spiral
My daughter died 24 years ago on April 6,1992. While more than two decades have passed, the impact of Maya's short life continues. Grieving for Maya invited me to mature spiritually and emotionally, and to reach a new understanding of the meaning of love. Love, in my...
Eleven: eleven
Some people have lucky numbers. Others, unlucky ones. I have a sacred number: 11:11 in the morning, the hour and minute of my daughter Maya's birth. When 11:11 popped up on my iPhone screen this morning, I thought, "Aha, beloved girl. There you are, waking me up...
That’s the Way Life Lives
Maya's quirky little saying, "That's the way live lives," was meant to comfort me. Today, on the 22nd anniversary of her death, it still does. I have a beautiful bouquet of lilacs on my writing table in  her honor. Her spunk, fierce intelligence, and beauty are with...
Being a “Donor Mom”
Nichole Smith at Chaos in the Country asked me to write a guest post for her blog from the perspective of the family of an organ donor. Nichole understands donation on a very personal level: her niece received a donated heart. We are both grateful for the miracle of...