Ken Budd recently published a post in The New York Times opinionator blog entitled "When Writers Expose the Dead" about writing a memoir closely describing his deceased father. He raises interesting questions for memoirists writing about people who have "turned in...
grief
Journal Writing and the Healing Process
For today's stop on the WOW! Women on Writing blog tour, I am visiting Journaling by the Moonlight, a wonderful site hosted by Tina M. Games. Tina provides tips, encouragement, and resources to journal writers everywhere, with a special focus on mothers. She invited...
Moving Forward After Loss
For today's stop on the WOW! Women on Writing blog tour, I'm visiting Mom Loves 2 Read, to talk about grief recovery - an important skill for mortals. Sooner or later we all lose someone we love. How do we move forward after loss? It’s been 21 years since my...
The God Question
Terrible tragedy inevitably raises the question: How could a just God allow bad things to happen to good people? Whether you grew up believing in God, or later opened to the possibility of a higher power, when confronted by loss you are likely to question your faith....
Happy Rebirthday!
I’m throwing a party for the rebirth of Swimming with Maya. Thanks to the power of networking, it has a new life as a paperback and eBook. But in 2010, the future of my book did not look bright. Capital Books, the independent publisher that issued the hardback in...
Meeting the man with Maya’s heart
Two years after my 19-year-old daughter Maya was killed in a freak accident, I met the recipient of her donated heart: a middle-aged Chilean businessman, his wife, and their two children. My book Swimming with Maya describes that initial meeting and the friendship...
Learning to Laugh Again
In my personal pantheon of spiritual masters, I fondly include a Unity minister from Alabama. I heard Rev. Edwene Gaines speak at a Unity center near my home four years after Maya died. I now see that 45-minute talk as a turning point in my grief. That was the day I...
Happy Anniversary
It is April 6, the anniversary of Maya’s death in 1992, a day when my internal clock stopped. My daughter is dead. After more than two decades, I am still not used to that. I see Maya as a vibrant 19-year-old. But she would be turning 41 this October. Her grave lies...
How I Learned to Grieve – and Heal
Six months after Maya died, I was at a business meeting where a colleague shared her devastation over the death of her dog. All I could think was, “You can replace a dog but I can never replace Maya.” I ran from the room and barely made it back to my desk before I...
Finding Words
Talking about the death of my daughter detonates every parent’s worst fear. “That’s the ultimate loss,” they say. “I can’t even imagine it.” Telling people you are a bereaved parent is like telling them you have cancer. In the early years of grief, I felt like a...