Mindset Matters
“If you want to improve in anything, start seeing mistakes and failures for what they are — the precise means of your education.” Gregory Ciotti What’s your mindset? Research shows that people with a “growth mindset” are more likely to focus on taking small steps to...
What The Goldfinch Teaches Memoirists
I love memoirs that push the edge of the genre, using fictional techniques to tell a riveting true story. Authors like Alice Sebold (Lucky), Jenette Wells (The Glass Castle), Cheryl Strayed (Wild), and Ann Patchett (Truth and Beauty) spring readily to mind. But...
Why write poems?
When words wash over you like waves at the beach, make you laugh out loud, or gasp in astonishment, or choke back tears, you know you are hearing a good poem. That's the beauty of poetry - it's music to your ears and to your heart. I write poems in order to hear the...
Theme and Plot – The Yin and Yang of Memoir
The Story Circle Network Conference in Austin, Texas was an amazing gathering of women eager to help one another write their stories. From April 11 - 13 we gathered to learn from each other. It was a rich three days of conversations, workshops, and celebrations...
That’s the Way Life Lives
Maya's quirky little saying, "That's the way live lives," was meant to comfort me. Today, on the 22nd anniversary of her death, it still does. I have a beautiful bouquet of lilacs on my writing table in her honor. Her spunk, fierce intelligence, and beauty are with...
The Cost of Addiction
When the news of Philip Seymour Hoffman's death by heroin overdose broke, social networks were abuzz. People were understandably shocked, upset, and sad. Many were livid. I saw dozens of comments castigating Hoffman for leaving his family because of his...
Gaining Wisdom from Trauma
Often, when tragedy strikes, we feel singled out. As if we are the only ones who are suffering. Our culture tends to create an exclusion zone around people who are grieving, or who have been horribly wounded in some way. This only adds to the wounding and makes grief...
Talking to Kids about Death
“What are those cracks by your eyes, Mimi?” My four-year-old granddaughter was staring intently at my face. It took me a minute to compute. “Wrinkles,” I said. “Do I have wrinkles?” Lucia touched her own cheeks. “No honey, you’re too young for wrinkles,” I...
Grief and the Holidays
"As you approach the holidays, remember: grief is both a necessity and a privilege. It comes as a result of giving and receiving love. Don’t let anyone take your grief away. Love yourself. Be patient with yourself. And allow yourself to be surrounded by loving,...
Bringing Back the Dead
Ken Budd recently published a post in The New York Times opinionator blog entitled "When Writers Expose the Dead" about writing a memoir closely describing his deceased father. He raises interesting questions for memoirists writing about people who have "turned in...
